Believe me
(Excerpts from a fun letter I wrote to my college going daughter).

I keep slipping on the snow and invariably try to cross roads at the wrong lights. As you know I’m not used to those things since my shining country has little use for shining functioning street lights.

There is a bus stop below my window and people come there with their coffee cups to board the bus; filled cups. Imagine the pandemonium if someone spills even a drop of water on the milling crowds at the SouthEx bus stop. It’s ok here. No one minds. They are very well behaved. Besides, there are no milling crowds at the bus stand at any time of the day or night, just 3 and a half people. I really miss motherland when the driver gets up to take a handicapped person on board and strap them to their special seats.

Why?

Because it takes 3-4 minutes but I hear no MCBC or any other expletives or even grumbling from the rest of the passengers. Told you they are very well behaved.

The corner store has 33 kinds of sanitary napkins and after going through a painful inky pinky ponky selection process in the aisle you discover after coming home that the one you picked up is either too slim or too long or too yellow or too green or too whatever but not the one that you need.

An oldish woman in an ad says that the miracle cream made her legs 20 years younger. Assuming that the rest of her remains her age what do you think will be the sum total? I mean I can understand having 60 year old legs at 80 years of age but to have 10 year old legs at 30 can be pretty disconcerting, don’t you think?

Talking of ads the other day I was window shopping at a mall. The window of a furniture store said, “Be good to your children. They will choose your coffin.”  Believe me!!!!

The whole world which comprises the US of A is going mad as the 11th of September approaches because they must celebrate the anniversary of the great disaster and meanwhile bomb Iraq (they call it Eyeraq. why they dont say Eyendia i wonder) out of existence because Iraq has weapons of mass destruction.

The US doesn’t.