If Ammu had been born at a different time and in another age, she would have been regarded as a remarkable woman, for she combined, in every aspect of her being, the best of feminine and masculine qualities- grace, dignity, courage, energy and skill — in equal measure and proportion.

Ammu’s personality was an astonishing mixture of strength and hard work as well as inner clarity and integrity. Instead of admonishing others, she was strict with herself and firmly disciplined in all her thoughts and actions. So strong was her control over herself that she never allowed herself to be effusively sentimental.

Her sharp sense of right and wrong, her apparent ability to make calm and objective assessments always left us amazed. Her indomitable will-power and her moral rectitude were apparent even from way she dressed and carried herself. Her clothes were simple and austere and she wore almost no jewellery. The glamour of fashion could never tempt her. She knew how to live according to her own quiet and singular ways.

She neither smothered us children with motherly affection nor spoilt us with excessive love. The flow of her life was even and her gestures were always restrained. Her knowledge, which was so deeply ingrained in her being, was an unselfconsciously acquired inheritance of her traditions. Beneath her composed and unruffled life one could sense a uniqueness which was firmly based on her confident ‘belief in her own self’.

In all situations and circumstances, Ammu asserted the right to give or withhold her consent to any decision which concerned the family. Her thinking was profound; her words were always direct, brief and to the point. That Ammu was the mother of two children who were opposites in their temperament and abilities had nothing to do with the dreams she may have had but was merely as aspect of the reality of her household. She never made any pretexts or spoke about her personal difficulties. And she was unforgiving if one did something wrong deliberately. At times, she would send us to our father to justify our actions. She neither exaggerated nor asked for any apologies. Even today I am surprised at her ability to read and understand each situation and event correctly, without any ambiguity or unnecessary dramatisation.

Temperamentally, our father was quite the opposite of our mother. He was so refined and easy going that he treated us as his intimate friends who could say anything to him, tell him everything. Mother never resented the role he played in our lives. Indeed, instead of trying to defend herself, she helped sustain this caring image of a father who heard all our complaints and listened to each word or phrase.

Even though she had profound faith in herself, her decision for or against someone was never mean or insignificant. It seemed as if she had thought about something carefully before giving it the dignity of words.

The inner core of Ammu’s self could never be translated as either feminine or masculine. Her very being radiated the strong qualities of both simultaneously. For example – she could never bring herself to tell petty lies or be merely clever. It was always apparent that what she said or did was rational, straightforward, sober and utterly genuine. Her life was governed by two fundamental principles – a profound sense of gratefulness at being alive and an insatiable desire to understand things in their larger context. She did not lack courage or the spirit of adventurousness. The real source of her inner resilience lay in her motto of life – pick up a handful of dust and it will turn into gold; throw away the gold and it will again enrich the earth.